Realistic Parenting Tips For A Healthy Relationship With Your Kid(s)

Overview

Many factors influence a child’s development, yet many studies agree that parenting style has a huge impact and might be the most influential. According to a 2019 American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine study, the quality of the early parent-child relationship contributes to a child’s cognitive, neurobiological, socioemotional, and health outcomes (1)

A strong parent-child connection can improve your child’s physical and mental health. Not surprisingly, the effect is long-lasting and can even help them in school or other social settings. (1)(2)(3)

How can you help kids achieve their full potential? Most parents struggle with balancing between love and support, and sternness and boundaries. Which discipline methods are most effective, and do parenting practices vary for different ages? Is spanking still acceptable in some instances, or is it a thing of generations past?

We share some effective parenting tips below, including various hacks for different age groups.

Remember: The best parenting advice is the one that you intuit will best apply to your kid(s).

No single parenting advice applies to all kids and parents. You might need to modify your parenting style depending on your child’s age, behavior, personality, and other factors. (2)(3)

Continue reading to learn more.

Different Parenting Styles

Here are four known parenting methods: (4)(5)

Authoritarian parenting (kids have no say; parents demand obedience without questions)
Authoritative parenting (promotes child independence and self-expression; includes positive and gentle parenting)
Permissive parenting (parents have little authority, and kids are generally allowed to do whatever they want)
Uninvolved parenting (parents aren’t involved in their children’s lives; also considered neglectful parenting)

There are several sub-styles under authoritative parenting – and it’s considered the most ideal of the four because it involves input from parents and kids alike. (4)(5)

What Are 5 Positive Parenting Tips?

According to Harvard Pediatrics, here are five ways you can foster connection and structure with your kid(s): (6)

Model positive behavior – children copy what they observe or see (6)

(source: pediatrics.developingchild.harvard.edu) (6)

Create a routine (e.g., bedtime routine, dinner routine, etc.) – it helps promote good behavior because kids know what to expect and do (6)

Reward positive behavior and actions you want them to do (e.g., giving them attention when they’re quietly playing while you’re working or busy) (6)

Find ways to have fun (6)

Avoid giving attention and naming a negative behavior (e.g., hurting siblings; by comforting the hurt child, then later positively advising the angry sibling, such as praising when they use “gentle hands”) (6)

What Are The 7 C’s Of Parenting?

Here are the seven Cs of resilience parenting proposed by pediatrician Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg: (7)

Competence
Confidence
Connection
Character
Contribution
Coping
Control

What Are The 5 C’s Of Parenting?

Here are the five Cs of effective parenting: (8)

Consistency
Consequences
Courtesy
Consideration
Caring

What’s The Golden Rule Of Parenting?

Here’s a modified version of the golden rule that applies to parenting, according to parenting counselor Jan Hunt, M.Sc.: (9)

“Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position.”

Positive Parenting Tips For All Ages

Manifest Unconditional Love & Kindness

Express “I love you” freely and abundantly
Avoid playing favorites with your kids; treat them equally, yet uniquely to play their own strength and different traits
Bring mindfulness and presence to both the big and small moments
Be firm yet warm and kind
Allow them to calm down when they’re upset; allow space for all of their emotions and let them know you’ll be there for them through all of it
Be generous with cuddles, affection, and love; get to know their love language and meet them where they are at
Foster a loving, supportive, yet structured environment

Spend Time With Your Kids & Promote Parent-Child Relationship Bonding

Make time for your kids; even a few minutes at a time yields big gains
Pay attention and be involved in your child’s life; notice the minor details
Remember that your full presence and the memories you make together are more important than physical gifts
Actively listen to your kids and ask them mindful questions
Respect your child’s opinion and meet them where they are at
Create quality time – it doesn’t have to be expensive; focus on experiences, not things
Schedule a special bonding time daily; make it a ritual or a game
Be engaged in their life and create space for family time
Read books or enjoy hobbies with them
Create simple traditions, rituals, and sweet memories

Nurture Your Child’s Self-Esteem

“Catch” good behavior and acknowledge it
Praise your kids even for small things
Make time for milestones and important events
Be specific with positive reinforcement and praise
Let kids “overhear” you complimenting them or speaking positively about them
Never compare your kids to others, especially siblings, because every kid is different
Allow kids to learn responsibility for their own actions
Let kids find solutions and don’t fix everything for them
Support independence, autonomy, and sense of self

Keep Your Communication Lines Open & Be A Responsive Parent

Schedule a special one-on-one time for each kid
Ask about your child’s day
Try to understand and acknowledge their emotions
Help them name their emotions when they’re angry or upset
Focus on your child when you’re talking; be present and make eye contact
Build trust and open communication but keep their privacy

Encourage kids to make eye contact
Encourage them to make friends (but don’t choose their friends for them or interfere with their choices)
Watch out for behavioral problems and seek help if necessary

Strive To Be A Good Role Model

Be integral with your word
Respect your partner even if you have parenting differences
Express your love and appreciation for your partner openly
Don’t be afraid to own up to mistakes and apologize, even to your kid(s)
Show love for the environment and gratitude for the home and blessings of your family
Understand that kids can be keen observers
Learn to be flexible
Show positive attention and learn to control your emotions
Model and teach good manners
Openly work on reparenting yourself and express your low moments or challenges to your kids (e.g.: “Mommy is having a really hard time right now. I’m feeling really frustrated and need to take five minutes to reset myself. I love you and I will be right back.”

Acknowledge Your Limitations & Needs As A Parent

Accept that the perfect parents don’t exist
Trust yourself – you’re doing great as a parent, even with your low moments
Remember that kids don’t come with a manual
Learn to take a well-deserved break and practice self-care
Trust your instincts, you’ve got this
Rally other parents or caregivers and discuss your parenting plans and challenges
Learn to say “no” – kids will survive even if they don’t always get what they want
Let kids make mistakes and learn from them
Improve or hone your parenting skills through watching podcasts, how-to videos and articles, etc.

Effective Parenting Skills

Raising Kind & Grateful Kids

Watch out for entitlement in your children. Teach them about actions and consequences.
Model traits like humility, respect, kindness, and appreciation.
Embody the spirit of gratitude and express it freely
Identify your own values and discuss family values with your partner, and welcome kids into the conversation
Express the ways you’re striving to be a good parent to your kids.
Hold strong boundaries with firmness and grace

Family Time During Meals

Schedule regular family meal times
Encourage kids to eat what everyone else is eating
Keep serving new dishes, even when they’re rejected
Consider baby-led weaning
Let kids choose or “order” their food occasionally

Always Prioritize Your Kids’ Health & Safety

Babyproof your home
Follow the safe sleep guidelines (e.g., let your baby sleep in a crib or firm, flat surface)
Create a routine and encourage self-soothing at bedtime
Watch out for recalls
Practice car safety and checks (e.g., using age-appropriate car seats)
Promote a healthy lifestyle by modeling it yourself
Encourage healthy teeth and gums by choosing the right toothbrush; allow your kids to watch you practice good oral hygiene and make it a family ritual if possible
Use sunblock or sunscreen when necessary
Potty train your child when they and you are ready

Encourage Brain Development

Support your child’s hobbies and interests
Avoid TV in their bedrooms
Encourage brain-boosting meals (e.g., nuts, berries, eggs, healthy fats such as avocados, salmon and olive oil) and activities
Let kids learn a new language (or sign language)
Boost brain health with physical activity
Expose them to a variety of activities
Spend ample time outdoors
Go on walks and nature adventures together

Consider Adjusting Your Parenting Style

Acknowledge that what you do matters
Create realistic expectations
Draw on your childhood experiences

Good Parenting Tips & Principles

Kids Also Deserve Respect

Even young children deserve respect. Listen to your child and let them express their opinions, regardless of age.

Understand That Tantrums Don’t Always Mean “Bad Behavior”

Toddlers, especially 2-year-olds, are prone to throwing tantrums because they struggle to express their emotions. That’s why the stage is also known as the “terrible twos.”

It’s important to let your child feel that no matter their age, their emotions are valid, and you’ve got their back.

Understanding & Imposing Discipline

Your discipline methods are more likely influenced by your chosen parenting method.

For example, while spanking used to be a common punishment with past generations’ authoritarian parenting, modern parents use time-outs or non-physical forms of discipline. If you choose positive or gentle parenting, you involve your child in problem-solving as you process their behavior, why they did it, and the natural consequences of their actions.

Some discipline-related parenting tips:

Acknowledge that discipline isn’t punishment or abuse
Be firm yet kind even in disciplining your child
Set limits and boundaries – and be consistent with enforcing them
Be in charge and create reasonable rules and limits
Be firm and consistent with enforcing boundaries and limits
Pick your battle, and don’t sweat all the small stuff
Discipline your child’s behavior, but don’t criticize them
Avoid negative reactions to emotional outbursts and negative behavior, but give yourself grace because you’re human and parenting can be hard
Explain why you’re imposing limits and rules
Avoid harsh discipline even in major situations
Discipline in private (it saves your child from public pressure and humiliation)

Child-Rearing For Different Ages

Parenting For Babies

Consider attachment parenting (e.g., baby-wearing and being more attuned to your baby’s needs)
Sometimes, you need to let them cry it out (show your support by carrying them in your arms until they calm down)
You can begin to develop strong bonds by spending lots of time with your baby
Let your baby sleep in a crib, and avoid using crib bumpers, stuffed toys, blankets, pillows, or other stuff inside
Limit the use of ‘container’ play devices such as exersaucers to a maximum time of 15-20 minutes daily to reduce the risks of negative effects such as delayed motor milestones (e.g., sitting, rolling, standing, and walking) or hip and spine development problems (10)
Protect babies from potential danger and make sure you babyproof your home
When your little one is ready for solid foods, consider BLW (baby-led weaning) and encourage them to eat healthy foods
Choose educational baby toys (e.g., Montessori baby toys)

Parenting For Toddlers

Acknowledge that tantrums might be their way of expressing themselves
Don’t encourage negative behavior
Praise good behavior
Encourage physical activity
Choose age-appropriate educational toddler toys (e.g., outdoor toys for 1-year-olds, Montessori toys for toddlers, etc.
Double-check babyproofing around your home (e.g., installing baby gates, locking up medicines and household cleaners, keeping sharp or dangerous objects out of reach, etc.).
Set limits and be consistent in imposing them – it’s beneficial for toddlers to learn how to follow the rules even at this age

Parenting For Preschoolers

Continue nurturing your child
Encourage your preschooler to socialize and play with other kids
Be consistent with discipline
Acknowledge your preschooler’s feelings
Show respect for your preschoolers, but be firm with boundaries and structure
Foster independence and encourage your child to help with simple household chores
Choose age-appropriate activities and educational toys (e.g., Montessori toys for 3-year-olds, educational toys for 4-year-olds, etc.)

Parenting For Grade Schoolers

Foster independence
Let your child build strong relationships with peers and other adults (e.g., their teachers)
Model and teach kindness, empathy, respect, and good behavior
Be involved in your child’s education (e.g., assisting with assignments, attending PTA meetings, watching school plays, etc.)
Let your child make decisions and learn from their mistakes
Encourage playing with educational toys (e.g., educational toys for 7-year olds, educational toys for 8-year-olds, etc.) instead of gadgets
Go on weekly or regular dates with your child

Parenting For Teens

Encourage open communication lines
Talk to your teen or adolescent about their mental health
Respect your teen’s opinions
Guide (but don’t limit) their decisions
Watch out for red flags and behavior problems
Continue monitoring their education (e.g., grades, school activities, etc.)
Choose your battles
Be honest about drugs, smoking, sex, alcohol, peer pressure, driving, etc.
Show interest in their life
Involve your teen in problem-solving, especially when you encounter negative behavior
Show your support and love

Parenting For Adolescents & Young Adults

Talk about mental health issues
Be open about sex but also respect their privacy
Model and teach about alcohol consumption and responsibility
Provide support even in adulthood
Encourage safety rules in driving

Benefits Of Encouraging Emotional Regulation In Children

Learning to understand and regulate emotions can have the following advantages for your kids: (11)(12)(13)

Boosts your child’s confidence and self-esteem
Helps your child develop compassion, kindness, and empathy
Promotes better mental health
Might reduce risky behaviors
Promotes better physical health and well-being
Can help promote healthy relationships with others
May help with academic improvement
Helps enhance decision-making, judgment, and problem-solving skills
Guide your child’s behavior and mistakes
Helps curb intentional misbehavior
May help improve the parent-child relationship
Allows your child to cope with problems (e.g., broken relationships, failures, etc.)

Benefits Of Emotional Regulation For Parents

Some benefits you can enjoy with emotional self-regulation: (14)(15)

Promotes healthy communication with your family
Helps you understand, empathize, and connect more with your kids
Fewer conflicts in the family
Fosters a loving, positive, supportive, and healthy environment for you and your kids
Can make it easier for you to support and help your kids learn how to regulate their emotions
Can help you guide your child lovingly to raise calm, positive kids