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Cultivate Self-Compassion With This Lovingkindness Practice

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This is my simple religion.

There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy.

Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

For most of us, being kind to ourselves just doesn’t come easily.

Self-compassion is a muscle that can be developed no matter your history or past.

As women, wives, and mothers, we tend to put ourselves last.

Our self-care and self-love practices are often an afterthought.

And yet, self-compassion is exactly what’s needed to nurture Mom.

Our kids don’t learn by what we tell them as much as they learn by what we model to them.

The way we treat ourselves and how we talk to ourselves gives them cues about how to treat themselves.

As parents and future parents, learning to generate lovingkindness towards ourselves is a duty and a privilege.

You can incorporate ahimsa into your daily life by… becoming your own best friend.

 

How To Be Our Own Best Friend

Have you heard of the saying “as within, so without”?

It means that your internal world creates your outer world.

So the world will reflect back to you the way you treat yourself internally.

Through the daily practice of ahimsa, you can increase your own sense of well-being.

Treating yourself with compassion is powerful.

And while it’s relatively easier to observe this practice of benevolence and non-hatred in relation to others, it tends to be more challenging in relation to ourselves.

We can be our biggest critics, judges, and bullies.

Think of the beliefs you hold about yourself.

The tone of your internal dialogue.

How do you speak to yourself?

What messages do you send to your body?

What thoughts swim around in your mind when you catch your reflection in the mirror?

Every time we think “not enough” we unleash a small internal burst of violent energy.

But… we can change that pattern.

We can change how we relate to ourselves.

We can choose to be kinder to ourselves.

We can choose to wish ourselves well.

We can combat inner violence with heartfelt gratitude.

Gratitude is like a muscle, the more you work it the stronger it gets.

 

A Self-Compassion Practice

Take a moment for yourself – to come home to yourself.

It’s time to stop what you’re doing and go inwards.

Sit comfortably and upright.

Close your eyes and place both hands over your heart or join palms together to form Anjali mudra.

Notice whatever sensations are present.

Maybe you can sense, hear, or feel the pulse of your heartbeat.

See if you can feel the subtle rise and fall of your chest as you inhale and exhale.

Follow your inhales and exhales and breathe with full attention and awareness.

Engage your lower belly as you inhale so that it expands outwardly and contracts inwardly towards your spine with each exhale.

Imagine the palms of your hands radiating warm light into your chest.

Picture it penetrating each layer until the light reaches your heart.

Feel that for a moment.

Stay present with it.

Be fully present as you nurture your own heart with your own light.

Now begin to direct loving-kindness and good intentions towards yourself.

Repeat after me (either out loud or internally):

May I be healthy.

May I find inspiration.

May I love and feel loved.

May I create my own fulfillment.

May I learn from pain.

And again…

May I be healthy.

May I find inspiration.

May I love and feel loved.

May I create my own fulfillment.

May I learn from pain.

And again…

May I be healthy.

May I find inspiration.

May I love and feel loved.

May I create my own fulfillment.

May I learn from pain.

Once more:

May I be healthy.

May I find inspiration.

May I love and feel loved.

May I create my own fulfillment.

May I learn from pain.

And so it is, and so it will be.

 

 

 

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